Trigésima Nona Semana: Thinking out loud...

10:04:00 fernandagumz 0 Comments

I've never had missed my family how I am missing now. I mean, last year, I was so okay staying in here and also was thinking about don't come back anymore, but for visits. But then, things started to change. 

After Rod come to visit me, we realized that we can't live without eachother, and that's what made things change. I feel like I am here living a life that is actually not mine one. I loved my year here, of course I did, I learned so much, and I have no regrets, but now, I am so done. I can't wait to be back home, to have my own job (a real one), my own place, my own things (If I be able to buy huh?! If you know what I mean). But I also can't stop thinking about all that bad news, that actually don't stop coming up on my facebook timeline. 

Life here in USA is so much easier, not that it is somehting 100% good, but when everything goes so bad all the time you lose motivation. People here just live, they don't have much things to worry about. And when I say to worry about I mean: If it's too cold, it's okay, if it's too hot, it's okay. They don't have to worry about corruption, or about go out and don't take their Iphone out of their purse cause otherwise they would be stolen. Things that in Brasil, I just can't stop wondering. :S Its is so confuse to me. I think that Brasil has so many things that would be so better if we had all of that going okay, you know? 

But Fernanda, what's the point?

The point of all of these is: I am feeling depressed. I am not strong anymore, I don't know what to do, I am lost. I am pretty sure that I wanna come back, but I am so sad with all of what is going on. I wish I could do something to change, I have done my part, but I am just one between so many people. 

So yeah, that is what my week was about. Thinking and thinking and thinking. 

Here you won't see people complaining that much, they don't fell like. Brasilians just complain all the time, for everything, and the question is, Is it because is too bad or just because nothing is good enough? Huh?!

I don't know, I mihgt have the anwer when I come back :)

P.S. I am not saying anything I am just thinking out loud... No complains, no regrets, nothing, just thoughts. Hope you guys understand. 

That's all for today folks.